What’s Getting In Your Way?

I skied for the first time since 2019 this month. The experience felt more like a roller coaster ride…but let me explain.

PART ONE: Tough Love

I should start by saying I have always had a love / hate relationship with skiing.

The views at the top? Spectacular!

The cold weather, and physical stress? Not so enjoyable.

But alas, my husband (Ryan) and I traveled to one of my favorite ski locations; Vail, Colorado. I love it for the back bowls – which are essentially very wide trails with evergreen trees that make you feel like you are free like a bird – while not fearing for your life. If you’re familiar with skiing, I’m a blue trail girl, no black diamonds for me – noooooo thank you!!

On my very first run in five years, the pain in my feet from my boots brought me to tears – which I fought to keep within my tear ducts. At the same time, Ryan was also in pain from his boots. Like me, he had been struggling with his boots for YEARS – and he skis a lot more than I do.

When I asked Ryan if he was going to FINALLY get new boots, it was clear he was not making that commitment. He was still ruminating over the initial cost from EIGHT YEARS AGO and beating himself up over the fact that those expensive ass boots were never a good fit.

THAT WAS IT!!  I HAD ENOUGH!!

I put my foot down (no pun intended) and I said HUN we are going to get you new boots TONIGHT. RIGHT NOW. We finished our apré ski glass of wine – perhaps my favorite part of the day – and proceeded to hunt for a pair of boots that wouldn’t literally make my husband’s toenail come off. Gross, I know – but that’s what had been happening for EIGHT YEARS.

We went to Salomon first, and bless this salesman, while he didn’t have Ryan’s size he had a recommendation for what boot brand might be best for him – which was not his own.

In the next store a boot fitter expert helped us to discover that Ryan was actually in the WRONG SIZE BOOT. Unfortunately, they didn’t have his size but at least now we knew exactly what we were looking for. AMAZING.

We finally ended up at a store where the boot fitter was super busy, but he mentioned that he might have something that would work, and asked us to wait just a bit. And so we did, and boy was it worth it! Ryan tried the recommended boot and was absolutely STUNNED by how comfortable they were – and he hadn’t even gone skiing on them yet! Let me put it to you this way – I had to ask him to stop talking about it – that’s how enamored and shocked he was.

I felt like we were both winning. Ryan was BEYOND excited, and I felt good about supporting him to find something better.

Are you picking up on some of the lessons learned here?

True to how I do… let me pause here for a second to provide you with some reflection questions:

  • What sunk costs, or past investments are preventing you from honoring what you ACTUALLY need now? Keep in mind this could be in reference to education, organizations, relationships, equipment or ANYTHING really.
  • What have you been suffering through, which you actually have the power to shift or change?
  • Who has been trying to get through to you, with sound advice, that you have been ignoring? Said differently – where has your stubbornness been a hindrance?
  • Are your expectations in line with the quality tools that are present? Perhaps for yourself or for those you lead / work with.
  • What scarcity mindset, and in what situations, might have a stronghold on you?
  • In your service to others, are you truly operating in their best interest, or in reality are you serving something (or someone) else entirely? 

PART TWO: What’s Not Working?

So now, a big fat seed that has been planted in my mind and I asked myself – “Do I have to suffer, or is there something better out there for me too?”

I ruminated to be sure, but finally decided; I’m going to see a legit boot fitter for myself as well!

What you don’t know (and maybe don’t want to know) is that my feet are persnickety – to put it nicely. Plain language; I walk like a duck and my feet are super sensitive. So no, you won’t see me wearing 6 inch heals… ever. Though I do love that song (insert Beyoncé here).  

I had only known pain when it came to ski boots for as long as I’ve skied. I thought that’s just what it was supposed to be. I mean when Ryan first met me, my ski clothes included jeans and windbreaker pants. Alas, Ryan helped me find a store and boot fitter that knew what the F she was doing (check out Divas – you won’t be disappointed). Let me tell you… my life changed. I spent 2 hours trying on boots, wiggling, squatting and feeling my toes in all kinds of brands.

She was PATIENT, and DILIGENT and she CARED about starting from the best possible foundation. Now THAT’S my kind of boot fitter.

Skiing was an ENTIRELY new experience the very next day. I felt a little more love and a little less hate for the sport with my new pair ‘shoes’.

I now interrupt this story for a few more reflection questions…

  • What limiting beliefs are holding you back from finding something that is more enjoyable, fun or liberating?
  • What do you currently envy, but are not taking action on to honor that you want that too?
  • What have you accepted as ‘part of life’ and are now ready to question the status quo that isn’t actually working for you?
  • Is your foundation strong? Insert situation here ____________.
  • Are you being patient in finding the right _________ for you? Insert friend, job, partner, etc.
  • Have you accepted that THING about you that also drives you crazy? That thing that maybe needs more love than average? (for reference; my persnickety feet that have particular needs. I love what my feet can do, so I got to take care of them!)

Before I get back to the story…seriously – these reflection questions – DO IT! With wine if necessary, and perhaps even with a bestie.

Back to your regularly scheduled programming…

Yes, I got new boots. They were fantastic. Skiing the next day was an entirely new experience. My toes weren’t scrunched. I wasn’t in pain just standing in line waiting for the lift.

I’m already wondering about the skiing I will do next season, with a bit more excitement, and a lot less loathing. What was really getting in my way of this? Was it the boots, or was it me?

PART THREE: The Real Obstacle

Whatever is coming up for you in reading this, trust it. Trust that where you are wanting more in your life, it’s valid and oh so possible. Trust that where you are experiencing frustration, there is valuable information in that experience.

Now is not the time for beating yourself up for wanting more. Now is the time to honor these desires as your true north.

So you have to ask yourself one final question then:

Am I the real obstacle in getting what I want?

As messed up as this world is right now and as much external blocking that’s going on…trust me when I say this story of boots is a microcosm of what really happens in our life. We get in our own way ALL THE TIME. I’m rooting for you to find out what that might be in this moment! Let the light shine on it.

If you want support to find out what your real obstacle is (’cause let’s be honest – it’s hard to do it on our own), reach out because this is the work that I do. If you want some proof, check out this testimonial.


Looking for more ways to find new perspectives?

THE UNLOCK LAB PODCAST Latest Episodes:

Episode #9:   How to be your own best friend

Episode #10: All Access: Overcoming Networking Anxiety

Episode #11: Rejection is Protection

Episode #12: Set Yourself Up For Success

Episode #13: Best Strategy Ever: Invest In Yourself. An interview with Gill Moakes.

Ps. you can also find these episodes on Apple.

Speaking of my podcast I have dedicated episodes called ALL ACCESS. I’ll be answering audience questions and providing words of wisdom to help you unlock your particular situation. To submit your questions, you can message me, or if you prefer to remain anonymous, click HERE. I’ll see you in the LAB!

Still want more? YAY, YES – I got you:


Additional Content You May Be Interested In

The Mountains We Climb

Sunshine Mixed with a Little Hurricane

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