I was looking back at the topics I’ve talked about this past month – and I’ve come to the conclusion that they all roll up under the theme of; playing the long game.
Let me first acknowledge that the headlines we see daily are hard to take. And since it doesn’t seem like things are going to let up any time soon – I will reiterate what I wrote in a recent LinkedIn post, about the news cycle which is this; ‘take in the dose that will ignite you, but not destroy you’.
I think collectively it’s been hard to find our personal drive, let alone feel wins in this environment. Given that we’re wired to pursue and achieve the next gold star and notch on our belt – we have the perfect recipe for hard days, and stressful nights.
When this moves into the space of feeling like you keep getting knocked down over and over again – it can be even more difficult to pick yourself up off the floor to try, try again. Hell, I’m having one of those weeks myself, so I certainly can’t sit here and tell you that I’m wired for the long game. Rejection is hard, not feeling forward momentum is hard, being hopeful and then being disappointed over and over again is hard. And the sense of moving backwards? That can make you wonder what it’s all for right now.
As a kid, I knew about the long game in a different way. I knew I had a long road of surgeries, speech therapists, braces, and all the other things. It was just my life though, and didn’t even give thought to wanting it to be another way – because it was never an option. In so many ways I didn’t have options – so by either default or determination I had to stay strong and trust that things were going to get better.
In more recent phases of my life, I’ve doubled down on trust in deeper ways. I’ve doubled down on the truth that all I can do is be the best possible version of me that I can be, and make the best possible decisions in any given moment. I’ve doubled down on celebrating my wins no matter how small, and made it a practice to celebrate my part in the successes and blessings I do have. I’ve even discovered how to redefine success on my terms – so that when I go to bed at night I can say I lived today the best I could. This is the biggest piece of advice I can give right now – is to take a good hard look at what a successful day for you looks like – based on the season you’re in and what feels good to you.
The long game is about living from your heart and not being tossed around endlessly by the external world. The long game is about learning to let go of loss and limiting beliefs over and over and over again in favor of staying true to what you never want to give up on. It means not becoming jaded about your big dreams no matter what anyone, or any institution does or says about it. The long game requires you to see that now is always the time to take micro actions towards what you desire. Regardless of who or what is standing in your way – even if and especially if – that someone is yourself. Because tomorrow is never guaranteed anyway, right?
So, if you’re ending this month wondering how to move forward …. if you aren’t sure which way is up, or down…here’s my advice; don’t give up now. It’s these moments when we go past the point that we think we can – past where our heart thinks we can still survive – these are the moments that define our will. And just to be clear, I’m not talking about pushing yourself to burnout or exhaustion. I’m talking about digging deep to remember your resolve and that only you get to determine when you want to write a new plan.
Now is a great time to assess the stories you’re telling yourself. Are you writing the story before it’s written?
Find the folks who remind you how strong you are. Find the folks that make you laugh. Find the places that remind you that possibility is infinite. Allow yourself to reset if that’s what you need. And then remember that no one knows what the future will bring – so go ahead and create it!
These latest episodes will meet you wherever you are, whether you’re picking up the pieces, chasing something bigger, or looking back to move forward:
Ep. 53 What to do when it doesn’t work out
Ep. 52 How To Actually Let Go (since we aren’t in a Disney movie)
Ep. 51 Reviewing Your Successes To Create More
Ep. 50 Saying Yes To Your Big Dreams
12 Min Convos Podcast Interview
I sat down with Engel Jones on the 12-Minute Convo podcast to talk about what it really takes to move forward, break free from old patterns, and create a career and life that truly fit who you are. In fact, I share how I came to leave my corporate career to pursue something else – even though I didn’t know exactly what that was.
Listen here.
If you or your team needs support in playing the long game, email me at breakthrough@toscadimatteo.com to inquire about ways we can work together. I can help you address issues of motivation, overwhelm and operating in uncertainty as a coach, keynote speaker or masterclass facilitator.
If this blog was just what you needed today, let me know (breakthrough@toscadimatteo.com) – I’d love to hear from you.
Cheers to the climb,
Tosca
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